I am home, unpacked, mostly cleaned up, catching up, and getting in touch with all now about our trip to California this past week. The schools here have fall break so we had a week to go do some visiting. We haven't taken the girls to see Marce's family in four years, and we've had our new addition since the last visit, of course, so it was high time to take everyone to northern California.
One of my sisters-in-law works for US Airways so we were able to get very cheap standby tickets at the beginning of the year. It wasn't the ideal way to fly, but it went pretty smoothly, all things considered. We flew out on a light travel day, last Tuesday, and planned to come home Sunday. The flight out was incredibly smooth and easy, except that we had to leave home before 4 a.m. to get to the airport. But Sunday wasn't as simple. Flights got full and we couldn't get on the first one we had planned, so we waited six hours to get on the next one that had space. Then we couldn't get on the last flight from Charlotte, NC (the hub), to home, so we ended up getting a hotel in Charlotte and hanging out until almost noon, when the next open flight left. We finally made it home mid-afternoon on Monday. The girls were wonderful travelers and the crew and staffers with US Airways were terrific and most helpful. We were very pleased. Now, we probably won't be doing a big trip like that again any too soon, and not on standby, but perhaps Marce and I or just me could do a standby thing again sometime in the future. But it was MOST welcome for our limited budget this year.
So that was the flight situation. In terms of the actual trip, it went well except for us all getting colds right before we left home or right after we arrived in Cali. So we were popping Zicams and hoping for the best. It was surprisingly cold last week, apparently both here and in California, so we ended up buying the girls little jackets and some long pants. Charlotte also got a tooth while we were out there! Her first one. At only 5 1/2 months old. She did pretty well. We didn't really realize she was teething; the traveling and different sleeping arrangements had us all a bit unrested anyway, so we had no idea she was at all uncomfortable thanks to teeth. But she has been chewing and chomping on our fingers or anything else she can get her gums on!
We went into San Francisco, of course, and drove the girls all around. It was a GORGEOUS day for it. We went to Macy's at Union Square and let Brianna see some REAL shopping. The 8 floors impressed and delighted her. We all made some very nice purchases and got some good deals, as it turned out.
We also went to Ghirardelli Square, so we could eat at the soda fountain. We got the "Earthquake," the 8-scoop, 8-topping sundae that we love and had four years ago. We polished it off in about 5 minutes. Not a drop left. When the server brought it out, all the tourists and fellow eaters around us turned and stared, smiled, laughed, eyes popping wide open, amazed. We had a number of people stand and take pictures of our ice cream! It was great. Also purchased a few bits of chocolate to take home, natch.
Marce and I went to the Oakland Temple while we were there, where we were married. It was a nice visit and so great to be back somewhere familiar and very special/sentimental to us. We were exhausted and barely able to stay awake because of sleep deprivation, time zone difference, colds, etc., but it was nice.
Marce's brother and family came up to see us from Visalia, where they now live. We were SO glad they were able to do that. We enjoyed visiting with them and all the girls (and boy). The kids all had a great time together, playing like crazy all day Saturday in Marce's dad's backyard. Marce's sister came to hang out with us all too, and some friends, and it was just wonderful to all be together.
We ate the foods we enjoy out there -- big, cheap, yummy burritos; Fresh Choice and Black Angus. Had a fair amount of Chinese food... :)
Marce and I were able to go to the opera on Saturday night right before we flew out (we only got three hours sleep once we got back from it and before we headed to the airport). We saw the opening night of "The Magic Flute" by Mozart put on by the San Francisco Opera at the grand War Memorial Opera House. WOW! It was stunning. The house is beautiful, stately, ornate, amazing. The opera was really fun and the performances stellar. It was really an amazing experience. Marce was just sad he wasn't all there for it -- he was still exhausted, though I had managed to adjust and feel awake to enjoy it. It was really a great experience. We had gotten to see the SF Opera before, right before we moved to Anniston 9 1/2 years ago, but the opera house was being renovated at the time so we only saw the opera in a temporary location. Madama Butterfly was still amazing and absolutely heartbreakingly beautiful, and I loved it, but being at the opera house was an experience I didn't want to miss. Wow! again.
Let's see... that pretty much wraps things up. We're all home safe and sound again and I'm just getting caught up. Enjoy the photos of the trip on my SmugMug site.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Saturday, October 6, 2007
Ohhhh, it's been an embarrassingly long time ...
Well, life has been busy. That's my answer for everything lately. But how to make it less so? That is the question for the ages. My ages, at least.
Brianna, Marissa, and Cami started school at the beginning of August. Brianna is attending a private Catholic school in the area because the city's middle school is absolutely out of the question for her to attend. It would take far too long for me to write about the whole schooling situation in this city, so suffice it to say it's a huge issue here in this area, and as much as I want to support the public schools (which I do), I simply cannot subject Brianna to the city system's middle school. Thus, the private school. In brief, though, she loves it. She feels absolutely comfortable there and is having a great time. She's just been trying to adjust to the changes that sixth grade has brought. She has a locker, switches classes, etc.
Marissa and Cami are going to the elementary school that's closest to us. It's not as nice as the school that M and B were going to the past few years but we were forced to put them over at the other school because of zoning and Cami just getting into the system. Long story, trust me. Looooonnnnggg. It gave me fits for some weeks. At any rate, they are loved by the staff and they are enjoying school, whatever the situation. But in the long run, they will end up either in the private school (ouch! $) or we will move. And Marissa's needing extra services complicates that. So it's an interesting dynamic. I have been involved in the system pretty heavily this year trying to see what I can do from the top down to make things better. One hurrah is that the school board finally fired the superintendent I was not at all pleased with and put in an interim who has been excellent. So that's a step in the right direction. And we wonder why I'm busy... I'm crusading mommy. I can't stand by and watch something happen if I can do something to help change it.
SOOOO, I had hoped things would calm down when it was just Charlotte and me at home. They did not. It's taken two months for it to slow down a bit for me to "catch up." I'm getting there.
The other big thing has been the adoption situation with Charlotte. All along, I have been dogged by huge frustrations with the system and our lawyer here, in particular. I will not recommend her to anyone else. However, she's really the only lawyer here in town who handles adoptions. I'm thinking out of town.... She has given me fits too. But just when we thought we could just sit back and wait for our court date, which had been set for Sept. 4, our 14th anniversary, the rug got pulled out. Just a few days beforehand, the lawyer emailed me and told me the judge had decided since the birth father had sent back a denial of paternity, that we should publish. Now that the birth father was legally "unknown," she wanted to publish a legal notice in the paper notifying any possible fathers about the adoption. What that means is the notice has to run for four weeks and then there must be 30 days before the adoption hearing so any father can respond. What's hilarious is since we live here in Alabama, we publish here. Charlotte's birth father is undoubtedly in North Carolina. The law. What can I say? So our hearing is now set for December 9.
That affected our trip to California. We wanted to have Charlotte sealed to us in the Oakland temple, where we were married. But we had planned our trip for this coming week, during the girls' fall break. So as it happens now, we'll just go to California, visit, introduce her to Marce's family and friends there, and have her sealed to us in Birmingham. It was disappointing, but at that point, whatever fight is in me can do nothing about it. But at the same time, a whole lot of friends from here can be with us in the temple. So that will be delightful.
Those have been the big issues in my life. At the same time, we've actually had a baby and three older daughters to raise, do our callings in church, live, breathe, eat, shop for food and clothing, pay bills, etc. No wonder I've got a few extra pounds on me. Arrrgggggh.
But good things are happening too. We do get to go to California on Tuesday, and we plan to do some fun things. Going to take the girls to Marine World, eat great food, see old friends, enjoy San Francisco, and go to the OPERA! Marce and I are going to see Mozart's The Magic Flute on opening night at the SF opera house. Can't wait! It should be an amazing experience.
I've also helped a friend edit and submit a terrific novel for publication; he just secured an agent this week who loves the book and thinks it has bestselling potential, which I've thought all along. I'm just thrilled to have been a part of this. It's very exciting. Now we'll see what kind of publishing offers he might get.
With that, I hope to start writing on my own again. I'm still busy with home life and my part-time work at the newspaper, which is terrific. I love my job! Fun at the paper and lots of great free books. Best job ever! But I do long to do some writing. I've got a number of books in me that could have potential.
That's the long and the short of it. I'm trying to keep our SmugMug photo site updated with pictures of Charlotte, who is now 5 months old and still an absolute doll and wonderful baby. She really is a delight and I love her to pieces. We all do. She's so happy and fun and easygoing. Anyway, I've got pictures of her on the site and try to put new ones on every week or every other week. The link is
http://limfamily.smugmug.com/
So, I do hope to update more often now. (sure, I SAY that now....) I've also got to get caught up in journaling. Ha! Have a wonderful week and hope to see or talk to you all or email, etc.
Brianna, Marissa, and Cami started school at the beginning of August. Brianna is attending a private Catholic school in the area because the city's middle school is absolutely out of the question for her to attend. It would take far too long for me to write about the whole schooling situation in this city, so suffice it to say it's a huge issue here in this area, and as much as I want to support the public schools (which I do), I simply cannot subject Brianna to the city system's middle school. Thus, the private school. In brief, though, she loves it. She feels absolutely comfortable there and is having a great time. She's just been trying to adjust to the changes that sixth grade has brought. She has a locker, switches classes, etc.
Marissa and Cami are going to the elementary school that's closest to us. It's not as nice as the school that M and B were going to the past few years but we were forced to put them over at the other school because of zoning and Cami just getting into the system. Long story, trust me. Looooonnnnggg. It gave me fits for some weeks. At any rate, they are loved by the staff and they are enjoying school, whatever the situation. But in the long run, they will end up either in the private school (ouch! $) or we will move. And Marissa's needing extra services complicates that. So it's an interesting dynamic. I have been involved in the system pretty heavily this year trying to see what I can do from the top down to make things better. One hurrah is that the school board finally fired the superintendent I was not at all pleased with and put in an interim who has been excellent. So that's a step in the right direction. And we wonder why I'm busy... I'm crusading mommy. I can't stand by and watch something happen if I can do something to help change it.
SOOOO, I had hoped things would calm down when it was just Charlotte and me at home. They did not. It's taken two months for it to slow down a bit for me to "catch up." I'm getting there.
The other big thing has been the adoption situation with Charlotte. All along, I have been dogged by huge frustrations with the system and our lawyer here, in particular. I will not recommend her to anyone else. However, she's really the only lawyer here in town who handles adoptions. I'm thinking out of town.... She has given me fits too. But just when we thought we could just sit back and wait for our court date, which had been set for Sept. 4, our 14th anniversary, the rug got pulled out. Just a few days beforehand, the lawyer emailed me and told me the judge had decided since the birth father had sent back a denial of paternity, that we should publish. Now that the birth father was legally "unknown," she wanted to publish a legal notice in the paper notifying any possible fathers about the adoption. What that means is the notice has to run for four weeks and then there must be 30 days before the adoption hearing so any father can respond. What's hilarious is since we live here in Alabama, we publish here. Charlotte's birth father is undoubtedly in North Carolina. The law. What can I say? So our hearing is now set for December 9.
That affected our trip to California. We wanted to have Charlotte sealed to us in the Oakland temple, where we were married. But we had planned our trip for this coming week, during the girls' fall break. So as it happens now, we'll just go to California, visit, introduce her to Marce's family and friends there, and have her sealed to us in Birmingham. It was disappointing, but at that point, whatever fight is in me can do nothing about it. But at the same time, a whole lot of friends from here can be with us in the temple. So that will be delightful.
Those have been the big issues in my life. At the same time, we've actually had a baby and three older daughters to raise, do our callings in church, live, breathe, eat, shop for food and clothing, pay bills, etc. No wonder I've got a few extra pounds on me. Arrrgggggh.
But good things are happening too. We do get to go to California on Tuesday, and we plan to do some fun things. Going to take the girls to Marine World, eat great food, see old friends, enjoy San Francisco, and go to the OPERA! Marce and I are going to see Mozart's The Magic Flute on opening night at the SF opera house. Can't wait! It should be an amazing experience.
I've also helped a friend edit and submit a terrific novel for publication; he just secured an agent this week who loves the book and thinks it has bestselling potential, which I've thought all along. I'm just thrilled to have been a part of this. It's very exciting. Now we'll see what kind of publishing offers he might get.
With that, I hope to start writing on my own again. I'm still busy with home life and my part-time work at the newspaper, which is terrific. I love my job! Fun at the paper and lots of great free books. Best job ever! But I do long to do some writing. I've got a number of books in me that could have potential.
That's the long and the short of it. I'm trying to keep our SmugMug photo site updated with pictures of Charlotte, who is now 5 months old and still an absolute doll and wonderful baby. She really is a delight and I love her to pieces. We all do. She's so happy and fun and easygoing. Anyway, I've got pictures of her on the site and try to put new ones on every week or every other week. The link is
http://limfamily.smugmug.com/
So, I do hope to update more often now. (sure, I SAY that now....) I've also got to get caught up in journaling. Ha! Have a wonderful week and hope to see or talk to you all or email, etc.
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
Trips and such
Just returned from a 1600-plus-mile trip to see family and friends. I must be a glutton for punishment. All those miles in a van with 4 kids for 8 days. The last day was brutal -- 11 hours of driving. But it was nice to see everyone, and I survived. That's kind of the basic word here. Summer equals survival for me. I've survived with most of my sanity intact, so I'm a winner! The girls start school in 8 days. I haven't been counting down until now, whereas Brianna has been so eager to get back to school (a new one) that she's been counting down for at least 37 days (that's the first I was aware of the countdown she has posted on her chalkboard). She's going to a private school this year so I got to pay tuition and fees and buy uniforms. Eeek. With that and the new baby and adoption costs and then just buying the house exactly a year ago today and spending all kinds of money on it to fix it up in the past 12 months, it has been the most expensive year of my life, by far. I'm hoping for a nice, quiet, cheap year to come, perhaps? Shop Salvation Army, live off food storage? Ha. Well, it's worth a think at least.
In all seriousness, we are doing very well. Charlotte just turned 3 months on Monday and has been absolutely a delight. I had to get up with her every night while we were traveling in less-than-ideal circumstances, since the trip was made without Marce (who did a lot of work on the house while we were gone), but she is still just such a wonderful baby that it's not too bad. She is so happy and cheerful and great to have around. In one month, she will be officially, completely, legally ours, and then she will be blessed in church and sealed to us in the temple, in California. We are so looking forward to that.
The summer has been fairly good, despite the stresses, and we've all survived it. We've been so blessed to have this new baby and to have things eventually work out well. There have definitely been some giant hiccups, but it has worked out in the near-end here. I am incredibly grateful for that.
I don't have a lot more words in me right now but will try to write sooner rather than later again.
In all seriousness, we are doing very well. Charlotte just turned 3 months on Monday and has been absolutely a delight. I had to get up with her every night while we were traveling in less-than-ideal circumstances, since the trip was made without Marce (who did a lot of work on the house while we were gone), but she is still just such a wonderful baby that it's not too bad. She is so happy and cheerful and great to have around. In one month, she will be officially, completely, legally ours, and then she will be blessed in church and sealed to us in the temple, in California. We are so looking forward to that.
The summer has been fairly good, despite the stresses, and we've all survived it. We've been so blessed to have this new baby and to have things eventually work out well. There have definitely been some giant hiccups, but it has worked out in the near-end here. I am incredibly grateful for that.
I don't have a lot more words in me right now but will try to write sooner rather than later again.
Friday, July 6, 2007
Book blog -- need help with a title!
OK, I'm sharing this with you all in hopes you can help me. I'm going to put together a book blog to review and recommend new books that are good reading and -- even better -- fairly clean. No vulgarity, not much bad language, etc. There are lots of websites with info about good books that are clean, but not ones that have just been published. So since I'm in a position to know about these things, I figure I'll put a website together to fill this niche. My only problem is trying to come up with a name. I'm only going to focus on fairly newly-published books, and I'm not going to review Christian/faith books. Other people are doing that. And I don't want to focus exclusively on an LDS or even a larger Christian/faith community, though they will obviously be among those who would want to read my site. I could use a title like "clean books review," but I'd really rather not use "clean" in the title. Subtitle, probably, but I don't want it to sound all "squeaky-clean." I'm just aiming to write about books that are for a fairly general audience -- kind of like "PG-rated" books. Since there's no rating system for books, I'll kind of focus on books I consider to fit that kind of a "rating." Make sense? But I can't use PG because it's copyrighted.
Here are some of my ideas:
Tasteful tomes: Recent books that check out clean
open book
page preview: reviews and ratings
Above reproach reading
Higher standard books
Checked out
of good report books
nontoxic tomes
safe for your shelf
reliable reads
respectable reads
tasteful tomes
Most of them I don't really like. And I've found that tomes isn't a word a lot of people know or use. So that's kind of out. I could just call it "Lit lady" or "Lim Lit" or "Cathy's book something-or-other." I usually am pretty good about coming up with names but this is really eluding me. I've been brooding over it for almost two weeks.
So, if you have bright ideas, let me know. I'd SOOO appreciate it. Then I'll have the page up and running, and you can all see what I've got for recommendations. Then you can pass along the link to interested parties and so on. I think it could be a lot of fun.
Thanks!!
Here are some of my ideas:
Tasteful tomes: Recent books that check out clean
open book
page preview: reviews and ratings
Above reproach reading
Higher standard books
Checked out
of good report books
nontoxic tomes
safe for your shelf
reliable reads
respectable reads
tasteful tomes
Most of them I don't really like. And I've found that tomes isn't a word a lot of people know or use. So that's kind of out. I could just call it "Lit lady" or "Lim Lit" or "Cathy's book something-or-other." I usually am pretty good about coming up with names but this is really eluding me. I've been brooding over it for almost two weeks.
So, if you have bright ideas, let me know. I'd SOOO appreciate it. Then I'll have the page up and running, and you can all see what I've got for recommendations. Then you can pass along the link to interested parties and so on. I think it could be a lot of fun.
Thanks!!
Summer's half over
For those of you who live where school ends in June and starts in September, you'll be surprised to hear me say that summer is "half over." But it's true. The girls start back to school in a little over a month. They've been out of school for a month and a couple of weeks. So I'm pretty much on the home stretch! I have to admit that it's not been too bad and I've kind of enjoyed the summer in some ways, but I'm still not the one who's all eager to get out and do all kinds of fun things with the kids. It's probably their ages and the fact that I have a baby around who is making me tired, thus sapping me of much energy or enthusiasm that would be required for those fun outings. The girls have been good in many ways but they have still definitely had their share of fighting and fussing and screaming and squealing. I am looking forward to some regular peace and quiet once school is in and it's just Charlotte and I during the day. REALLY. I'd sometimes just like to throw them all in a room and lock the door from the outside and go downstairs and put in earplugs.
But I have to say that I really, really appreciate Brianna's age and size. She has been extremely helpful with Charlotte. It's made having a baby around much easier. Still tired, but I can sometimes get naps more readily with Brianna's help. So here's a shout-out to my eldest, who 11 years ago made me wonder how I would ever make it through her infancy. She is now a great boon.
But I have to say that I really, really appreciate Brianna's age and size. She has been extremely helpful with Charlotte. It's made having a baby around much easier. Still tired, but I can sometimes get naps more readily with Brianna's help. So here's a shout-out to my eldest, who 11 years ago made me wonder how I would ever make it through her infancy. She is now a great boon.
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
The girls of summer
It's now a few weeks into summer break, and we're into a routine of sorts. Marissa gets to go to camp or school of some type for most of the summer. The very last couple of weeks she doesn't, and we'll all go on a road trip. (And you KNOW that will be plenty of fodder for my blog.) Cami has preschool "camp" on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and on Thursdays they have water day. Brianna has nothing going on this summer. She's old enough to help out with the baby and to talk on the phone with friends and email and listen to her MP3 player. And occasionally say that she's bored. I think she's smart enough not to say that very much. She'd like to take pottery lessons, which they do at a ceramics store here, but a) that costs money, a pretty good little chunk per lesson, and b) I haven't gotten around to even thinking about really doing it, money notwithstanding. She's mainly eager for school to start. She gets to go to a Catholic private school this year and is very excited. She's already compiled the supply list and has gathered up what she has already and talked to me several times about what she yet needs. And it's only mid-June. Needless to say, I have told her that as much as I appreciate her eagerness, it doesn't rank quite as high on my list of priorities as it does hers. Which means we'll worry about supplies in about 6 weeks. In the meantime, I've got smaller fishies to fry all over the place. Fishies that cry and whine and want stuff all the time.
I have gotten into somewhat of a routine for going to the YMCA and doing my cardio and yoga and getting my book page done at the newspaper once a week, but yesterday I threw a wrench into that by jamming my big toe quite hard. It zings with pain if I brush it against anything, even the sheet on the bed. Even if it's broken, there's nothing to do but wait. And "rest." Ha ha ha ha ha. I can feel the fat creeping onto my hips as I sit, when I DO sit, and I am hoping it heals speedy-quick, as Junie B. would say. (If you haven't read Junie B., you really must. It's hilarious.)
I am hoping/waiting for something profound or profoundly witty to spring forth from my inner muses, but nothing so far. So enjoy the post and know that Charlotte is 7 weeks old now (as of yesterday) and who knows how heavy. She was 9 pounds 10 ounces 2 weeks ago. Her brand-new, tiny infancy is becoming only a memory that makes me nostalgic even now.
I have gotten into somewhat of a routine for going to the YMCA and doing my cardio and yoga and getting my book page done at the newspaper once a week, but yesterday I threw a wrench into that by jamming my big toe quite hard. It zings with pain if I brush it against anything, even the sheet on the bed. Even if it's broken, there's nothing to do but wait. And "rest." Ha ha ha ha ha. I can feel the fat creeping onto my hips as I sit, when I DO sit, and I am hoping it heals speedy-quick, as Junie B. would say. (If you haven't read Junie B., you really must. It's hilarious.)
I am hoping/waiting for something profound or profoundly witty to spring forth from my inner muses, but nothing so far. So enjoy the post and know that Charlotte is 7 weeks old now (as of yesterday) and who knows how heavy. She was 9 pounds 10 ounces 2 weeks ago. Her brand-new, tiny infancy is becoming only a memory that makes me nostalgic even now.
Wednesday, June 6, 2007
Relative merits
I've found myself fascinated by how easy it seems now to take care of a newborn. I can say this even in spite of the occasional desperation I feel at midnight when every ounce of me (not counting how many) is crying out for sleep and the baby is not. I remember the feeling of desperation from each previous baby, especially the first. But even noting this, I am astonished at how much easier it is now.
I haven't read my book lately. Perhaps right now is a good time to get it out. (Let me also note that I -- like many authors, I have found out -- hate to read my own stuff. It becomes disgusting to me after writing it and editing it so many times. I hate it, think it's dreck, etc. I have heard this even from J.K. Rowling and many others, so at least I'm not alone. However, I feel I am absolutely correct in thinking it's dreck, and what was I thinking putting it in print for THE WHOLE WORLD TO READ AND KNOW THAT I AM A TERRIBLE WRITER!!?)
Anyway. Revulsion aside at my writing, it might be instructive, useful, humorous. Or embarrassing. That's what I'm thinking. I remember experiencing it and I remember writing about it. And I'm a bit embarrassed on one hand to think that I had such a rough time adjusting to tiny little person put into my care. It's not so bad now. But it sure as heck was then. I was such an amateur! But the nice thing is I have grown. Look at me! no hands! I'm a decent mother now. Who woulda thunk?
It's easier for several very good reasons. I'm sure there are others, but here are ones that spring immediately to mind: 1) I've done this three times before. I recognize what cries mean or I can guess pretty easily what baby needs. The choices are pretty limited. It's simple elimination. 2) I am not breast-feeding. This is a biggie, I think. I can hand baby over to someone else (see reason 3) and take off and live a fairly normal life without being tethered so completely. 3) I have four helpers. Two very useful ones. The other two not so incredibly useful but at least they're something. Marce is completely useful. Brianna is pretty much so. She can do things on her own but still is a bit baffled by how to calm fussy baby, which I seem to have down pat. (see number 1.)
I am really thinking in light of number 3 that I should have had this many useful helpers around when I had baby number 1. This is great stuff. But then reasons 1 and 2 play a significant role as well, so 3 isn't a stand-alone.
In the same vein, I also have been thinking about the relative merits of having one, two, three and four children. One is very hard because it's the first and you're completely without experience. But there's only one. But ... without the experience, it might as well be five. Having two is pretty hard because usually the first is only a couple of years old and is still pretty demanding and you have two little ones demanding all that one would demand. Twice as hard. Three isn't too bad. The first two keep each other busy, both are usually at least old enough to kind of take care of themselves, or the first can help out the second. You can go back to focusing on the one while the other two are somewhat under control (this is relative, mind you). Four is pretty nice because it's not much different than three; the same arguments apply, and by this time, time-wise, the oldest may actually be of some real value to you as "mommy's little helper," rather than the jokey way older ladies ask you when you have your second child, "Is (number one offspring) being Mommy's Little Helper?" (ha! Are you kidding? See argument for having two children ...) And of course, enough time has passed that they're all older and autonomous. 11-year-old, in my case, is helpful. 8-year-old takes care of herself just fine. 5-year-old is old enough to listen and understand and sometimes obey when told to leave Mommy alone because she desperately needs to nap because while everyone else was asleep last night, she was awake with baby Charlotte. So 5-year-old is old enough to understand and sometimes leave Mommy alone. In the case of today, she understands but doesn't obey. Arrgh. But try getting a 2-year-old to do that. That's definitely not possible. At least it is in the realm of possibility of a 5-year-old. If you see what I'm saying.
Lastly, I'm mostly astonished at how quickly time goes now. With Brianna, my first, who is now a beautiful and mostly helpful young lady, I thought time had slowed down to a crawl. I thought she would never get big or old enough to stop crying all the time and stop wanting me to hold her all the time, never give me time to myself, never ... all kinds of things. Now I'm absolutely amazed that she ever was that small. I can barely remember that. She's so grown up. Where did the time go? And watching Charlotte grow so quickly (she's up to 9 pounds 10 ounces as of yesterday), I am already, at 5 weeks, wishing she would slow down. I didn't get to appreciate her enough when she was only a few days old. Or a week old. Or two weeks. She's filled out so much. She's no longer that tiny, scrawny newborn that's all cheeks. Where did the time go? It's all going too fast. Sure, I'll be happy when she sleeps through the night, but at this stage of life, I'm not in any rush to make that time come too soon. Because that will mean I will be pining for her to be this size again, when she was only a month old and just beginning to smile fully and coo and talk to us. I am wise enough and experienced enough -- after all, those two qualities go hand in hand -- to know that time is going way too fast as it is. I don't want to speed it up anymore. I want it to slow down long enough for me to savor it, to get a good stop-motion picture that I can treasure forever.
And now I head off to bed, where I will hopefully rest peacefully while Marce takes care of our little sweetheart during the night.
I haven't read my book lately. Perhaps right now is a good time to get it out. (Let me also note that I -- like many authors, I have found out -- hate to read my own stuff. It becomes disgusting to me after writing it and editing it so many times. I hate it, think it's dreck, etc. I have heard this even from J.K. Rowling and many others, so at least I'm not alone. However, I feel I am absolutely correct in thinking it's dreck, and what was I thinking putting it in print for THE WHOLE WORLD TO READ AND KNOW THAT I AM A TERRIBLE WRITER!!?)
Anyway. Revulsion aside at my writing, it might be instructive, useful, humorous. Or embarrassing. That's what I'm thinking. I remember experiencing it and I remember writing about it. And I'm a bit embarrassed on one hand to think that I had such a rough time adjusting to tiny little person put into my care. It's not so bad now. But it sure as heck was then. I was such an amateur! But the nice thing is I have grown. Look at me! no hands! I'm a decent mother now. Who woulda thunk?
It's easier for several very good reasons. I'm sure there are others, but here are ones that spring immediately to mind: 1) I've done this three times before. I recognize what cries mean or I can guess pretty easily what baby needs. The choices are pretty limited. It's simple elimination. 2) I am not breast-feeding. This is a biggie, I think. I can hand baby over to someone else (see reason 3) and take off and live a fairly normal life without being tethered so completely. 3) I have four helpers. Two very useful ones. The other two not so incredibly useful but at least they're something. Marce is completely useful. Brianna is pretty much so. She can do things on her own but still is a bit baffled by how to calm fussy baby, which I seem to have down pat. (see number 1.)
I am really thinking in light of number 3 that I should have had this many useful helpers around when I had baby number 1. This is great stuff. But then reasons 1 and 2 play a significant role as well, so 3 isn't a stand-alone.
In the same vein, I also have been thinking about the relative merits of having one, two, three and four children. One is very hard because it's the first and you're completely without experience. But there's only one. But ... without the experience, it might as well be five. Having two is pretty hard because usually the first is only a couple of years old and is still pretty demanding and you have two little ones demanding all that one would demand. Twice as hard. Three isn't too bad. The first two keep each other busy, both are usually at least old enough to kind of take care of themselves, or the first can help out the second. You can go back to focusing on the one while the other two are somewhat under control (this is relative, mind you). Four is pretty nice because it's not much different than three; the same arguments apply, and by this time, time-wise, the oldest may actually be of some real value to you as "mommy's little helper," rather than the jokey way older ladies ask you when you have your second child, "Is (number one offspring) being Mommy's Little Helper?" (ha! Are you kidding? See argument for having two children ...) And of course, enough time has passed that they're all older and autonomous. 11-year-old, in my case, is helpful. 8-year-old takes care of herself just fine. 5-year-old is old enough to listen and understand and sometimes obey when told to leave Mommy alone because she desperately needs to nap because while everyone else was asleep last night, she was awake with baby Charlotte. So 5-year-old is old enough to understand and sometimes leave Mommy alone. In the case of today, she understands but doesn't obey. Arrgh. But try getting a 2-year-old to do that. That's definitely not possible. At least it is in the realm of possibility of a 5-year-old. If you see what I'm saying.
Lastly, I'm mostly astonished at how quickly time goes now. With Brianna, my first, who is now a beautiful and mostly helpful young lady, I thought time had slowed down to a crawl. I thought she would never get big or old enough to stop crying all the time and stop wanting me to hold her all the time, never give me time to myself, never ... all kinds of things. Now I'm absolutely amazed that she ever was that small. I can barely remember that. She's so grown up. Where did the time go? And watching Charlotte grow so quickly (she's up to 9 pounds 10 ounces as of yesterday), I am already, at 5 weeks, wishing she would slow down. I didn't get to appreciate her enough when she was only a few days old. Or a week old. Or two weeks. She's filled out so much. She's no longer that tiny, scrawny newborn that's all cheeks. Where did the time go? It's all going too fast. Sure, I'll be happy when she sleeps through the night, but at this stage of life, I'm not in any rush to make that time come too soon. Because that will mean I will be pining for her to be this size again, when she was only a month old and just beginning to smile fully and coo and talk to us. I am wise enough and experienced enough -- after all, those two qualities go hand in hand -- to know that time is going way too fast as it is. I don't want to speed it up anymore. I want it to slow down long enough for me to savor it, to get a good stop-motion picture that I can treasure forever.
And now I head off to bed, where I will hopefully rest peacefully while Marce takes care of our little sweetheart during the night.
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