Reflections on 2010

I've been reminded again that some friends still read my blog! As I mentioned at the beginning of the year, I use Facebook so much that I've forgotten that some people still pay attention to these old-style blogs! ;) So here goes... a very quick overview of the year.
My girls all grew a year older. That means that Brianna is 14 and in high school and attending church dances. High school has included her involvement in band, which for the past few months meant marching band, which meant lots of time at school for practices and away for competitions and at football games. I wasn't sure how she was going to like marching band; I did it for a couple of years of high school myself and had mixed feelings about it. But she absolutely loved it and has found her niche and a fun group of friends. She plays clarinet, and this is only her second year playing in band, so she really stepped up to the plate and did great despite her limited experience. Watching her perform and listening to her practice and talk about all her experiences has been very satisfying for me. I've just popped from pride. She's also got a 4.0 so far in her classes, so I'm happy for her academics. I love listening to all her stories every day. She has so much to share, and she still loves her mom and dad, which is delightful. I can't express enough how much I enjoy her and watching her turn into this amazing young woman.
Marissa turned 12 this August, which means she was able to leave Primary behind and join the ranks of the Young Women at church. She went to her first Girls' Camp in August, too, and had a great time. As always, she's a charmer and just smiles at everyone and has a great time with whatever she does. She's still quite small, so people tend to forget that she's 12. At Girls' Camp, in fact, she had other girls giving her piggyback rides on the hike! Yikes. I don't think that is what the hike is for. But she had fun, and everyone else seems to be enjoying her and watching out for her. She has a new teacher at school this year; the teacher she had for a year and half in her special class moved away to Kentucky, unfortunately. But Marissa is still doing well at school and working hard to keep learning, and has already gotten an award during one of their assemblies. She is still a ray of sunshine.
Cami turned 8 in May, which meant she was able to be baptized. A string of circumstances led to us having her baptism at home on her birthday, which was Memorial Day. So she can say, like Brianna, that she was baptized in a swimming pool. Brianna had to be baptized in someone's pool because the font was in the wing of our chapel that had had a fire; Cami just got to be baptized here in our pool for other reasons. So far, Marissa's the only one to be baptized in a font! Cami is bright and talented and doing great at school. She's been reading through a lot of library books, and she got an award at school last week at an assembly. She's just doing great and is lots of fun.
Charlotte turned 3 this April and is now talking about her next birthday, which is still several months away. She goes to a day care for two days a week so I can get things done around the house and on my website and have a little break, and she just has a great time. She talks about her school and all her friends there and what she likes to do there with her teachers. The other days of the week, she enjoys going to the gym with me. We have an established routine, and you know how kids are about routines! She is a charmer as well and uses her extreme cuteness to her advantage with everyone she meets. I don't let it sway me when she's acting up, being somewhat immune to the cute factor after all this time, though. But I thoroughly enjoy getting and giving her hugs and kisses. She loves to sing and dance and read books. She definitely keeps me on my toes.
A few activities of the year:
We went to Disneyland with the kids twice, once in January and once in June. The season pass was fun to use, and the girls had a great time. Marce and I used the passes again for our anniversary in September. We were able to ride all the rides together that we had to take turns doing with the girls who were big enough for them before. It was quite fun. It was especially nice because there was hardly anyone there when we went then, and we just zipped right through all the lines. We had more time then to just chill out and sleep in our hotel room, which is always welcome for busy parents!
In June, after the Disneyland trip, we went straight from L.A. out East. We rented a minivan for two weeks and visited Ohio, Alabama, and Kentucky. The main reason for the trip was to see my dad's grave, which I hadn't been able to visit yet. I wanted to have my whole family there with me, which is what happened. We were even able to coordinate with some other family members to come up and be at the grave at the same time, so my oldest half-brother and his wife and youngest son came, as did my mom and nephew and the oldest of my stepsiblings, L'Erin. It was so nice to be able to be there at Dad's grave together and see the gravestone that had just been put on. Also in Ohio, we visited my grandma, who is still doing great at age 94. Next, we went to our old stomping grounds in Alabama and visited friends we have missed since being here in Visalia. It was nice to be back where we lived for 10 years. I sent Marce back home to Visalia to get back to work and then took the girls to visit my mom and siblings in Kentucky. My brother and his wife had just had a new baby, so we were able to see my handsome little nephew Drake and see Ken's new house. It all worked out beautifully.
I've been working still on Rated Reads, which is coming along. I decided this summer to redesign the website to make it more attractive and functional. I hired a designer to help me to do this because I couldn't possibly have done it myself. I also did a little advertising to try to get the word out about it. I'm very pleased with the new look, and I've gotten very positive feedback. The Deseret News also contacted me this fall and asked me to write an article for them about how to find appropriate books to read, so that was published in the Mormon Times last month and got the word out a little more. Even with these improvements, it's still really slow going getting more traffic. I wish I knew how to wave a magic wand to get hundreds of people visiting the site every day, but I guess I just need to settle for slow progress.
Now it's the holiday season. It's been a long year; in many ways, as you can see, it's been a good year, but it's also been one of some personal struggles that are finally easing a bit. So I feel I'm ending the year on a good note and a hopeful one. I am enjoying the holidays and savoring the sights and smells and sounds of the season. Last year was hard, with Dad just having passed away, but this year I can feel happier and just enjoy my memories.
I wish all of you a Merry Christmas and the best for the upcoming new year.

New post for the new year

I believe I wrote before I don't get on here much anymore, thanks to the evil wiles of Facebook. But I do want to post a little for those who keep up with me via this method. So hello! Happy 2010!
We have been busy this year. We took the girls to Disneyland for two days in early January before school got started up again, and then we went to Sacramento at the end of January for Marce's oldest niece's wedding in the LDS temple there. I took copious photos of both trips that can be seen on my smugmug site. There should be a link for that off to the side, right?
I have been continually trying to move forward past Dad's death, grieving, pondering, going through all his stuff, etc. I have just gotten to the point where almost all of his things have been put away somewhere in my house, which is very pleasing to me. It had been frustrating seeing the boxes just sitting around taking up space and creating clutter. I've gone through most of his possessions, some things just very briefly, enough to get them stowed in a closet, and some more closely. It's been an interesting journey all around. I've been missing him terribly. But I've been lucky, frankly, to be reminded of some of his weaknesses that made me absolutely crazy, so it's helped me to not miss him so much. It may sound crazy to some, but to those who have been in my position, you will understand what I mean.
I've been through a heckuva lot this past couple of years, and I believe I'm starting to be able to move forward now and feel like I can start fresh again. I'm doing what I can to take care of myself and my family and do what is best for us. I've made some good new friends here in our new hometown, and I'm glad we're here. I still miss our friends elsewhere, definitely, but I'm feeling more at home here. As always, I still can't wait for a future day when all the people I care about can live on one fine heavenly cul-de-sac, and not be separated by states and miles. Life has been good to me in so many ways, but some of what I am most grateful for are the wonderful relationships I've enjoyed over the years with some amazing people. You know who you are! I thank you, and I miss you!
In terms of events, I mentioned our little trips. But everyone continues to grow. Brianna will be 14 in 3 months (whoa!), and she just got braces this week. So she now sounds a little different. It's just darling to listen to her. Charlotte will be 3 soon and is getting bigger and more mature, thank goodness, and one of the coolest bits of news for her is that she began wearing panties this week. Very exciting. So she's a big girl now! Cami and Marissa are doing great and moving right along too.
I took a few weeks off of work this month to take some time to get myself ... well, centered, grounded, re-found somehow. I've got one more week to just be with myself before I go back to the newspaper. But it's been valuable time to focus on myself a bit after everything that's happened these past months.
I also was released from the Relief Society presidency and now am playing piano in Primary. I have been in R.S. for a long while now and am adjusting to a new and very different environment! But Cami and Marissa love being able to see me on their turf on Sundays, and I am glad to be getting the rust shaken off of my long-dormant piano-playing fingers.
And that's kind of the highlights. Happy February to all.

End of 2009

OK, short highlights. Apparently, a handful of you still read me. So to go over the year since I've written: never sold the house in Alabama. We'd had it on the market for a year without any offers, and then we got an offer that was ridiculously low, but I felt I had no choice but to take it. We were a week away from closing when the buyer lost his job. So, back to square one. And on top of that, it had essentially been off the market for a month in the summertime. Argh. So, after another month of hoping for a buyer, I put it up for rent. Went out to see the house in person, cleaned it, checked in on it myself. Got it rented soon thereafter. So we've actually gotten a couple months of rent now.
After that was settled, I was able to kind of settle into a new thought pattern here: no more horrible worry about two mortgage payments (without being "reimbursed" for one, at least), just some worry about something going wrong I couldn't afford to fix! But I guess it was an improvement.
This was September. Girls were back in school, and I was working a couple of days a week, as I have been since May, putting together the weekly entertainment section of the newspaper. Charlotte was settled into two days a week at day care. I was eager to be able to kind of regain my sanity after what was an incredibly stressful year. I can't remember a more stressful year, at least for a while back.
I went to Utah in July, flew into Salt Lake and was met by my dad there. We drove up to Rexburg, Idaho, for my nephew's wedding there. We had some nice time to talk and just be alone together for the drive up and back to/from Salt Lake. The wedding was wonderful. In August, we all drove up to Utah for a reunion of my freshman year ward at BYU. Was fun, had a good time all getting out on the open road together and seeing the sights. The girls had done the same drive in January, so seeing it all in August was a fun change of pace! We got to stop in St. George and see my dad's new place, where he'd moved in May/June to finally retire and have a good time just doing all the stuff he enjoys.
Little did I know at the time that would be the last I'd see Dad. The next I saw him was mid-October, on life support in an ICU in Salt Lake City. He had had a somewhat "routine" angiogram that had turned into an angioplasty, and later that afternoon, he'd started bleeding in his brain. The bleeding was so bad that they couldn't stop it, and it just flooded his brain. We started getting the news on a Tuesday night, and after a few quick updates that night, we knew it was looking to be irreversible. At first, I hoped it would be stopped and that, although he'd have some damage, he'd be not quite as good as new, but OK with some therapy. After all, Marce does specialize in neurological physical therapy. But quickly, we knew it was not going to go that way. We had to make plans to drive up to Utah -- and fast.
I managed to get some sleep that night, but first thing in the morning, I started taking and making tons of phone calls to family members, letting them know what was happening, and getting an update on Dad. The bleeding had extended finally to his brain stem, and it was all over. Our job then was to get up and see him while he was still "alive" on life support. We had a long day of driving. Typically, I like to read on trips. I just couldn't do it. Not much other than talking or thinking or just kind of sitting there in shock.
We all were able to spend some time with him late that night (very very late) when we arrived and then again the next day. It was difficult to see my dad like that, looking like he had just fallen asleep on my couch after my feeding him a good dinner, but knowing that he just wasn't even really "there" anymore. But I took what I had.
He was officially declared brain dead on Oct. 15, and we were able to donate his organs -- his liver and two kidneys -- and now three people are healthy and doing well, spending time with their loved ones, because of that. I can't imagine doing anything differently, if the opportunity presents itself. It is comforting to know that he could do that for two men and one woman.
All of my siblings and I had a funeral for him in Salt Lake on Oct. 17. It was a good experience for us, and I know a great thing for my dad to see us all together. I know he could be there to see it. I didn't spend much time with him in his coffin before we closed the casket. I had some time to say goodbye while he was still somewhat alive and warm, and I just didn't want to remember him in that casket. He looked good, though, and Marce and my oldest brother, Chuck, were able to dress him in his white clothes.
My life since then has been even busier and more hectic. We've had to figure out how to navigate finances in the way of wills, and I cleared out his apartment a month after his death. It was all physically and emotionally draining, and it came on top of an unbelievably difficult year for me. The grief has almost intensified as time has gone on because it just has hit me harder that he is really gone. It probably took a week after I got home to really have everything hit, and I was just overwhelmed. Things have gotten better in that I haven't been crying horribly every day. But I have a profound sadness accompanying me everywhere I go.
And that's the facts. I have not been my usual chipper self for some time now, which grieves me even more. I hope that things will settle back down (I've said THAT before) so I can have some time to heal -- from a lot of things. I have been blessed in many little ways, with little things I didn't even know to ask for. I know that I've been watched over. But my heart just wants my dad back and doesn't know how it will ever feel whole again. I know I can't possibly be the same again. I am sure I will be happy and "myself" again sometime, but I will never be the same.
I have come to appreciate just how little I understood how it felt for others to lose someone close. I didn't anticipate losing either of my parents for a long, long time, and this hit me like a Mack truck. And I now know how much more I could have done for others I knew who were grieving. Everyone grieves differently and needs different things. But I hope that now I can at least do a little better job of listening and trying to offer whatever someone else might need in their time of grief.
I end the year on a somber note. I staged a nice Christmas for my kids this week, and I hope it was good for them. For myself, I had a hard week, and I wasn't really feeling celebratory. But next week is a new year, and I hope somewhat of a fresh start in some ways. I'm going to do some fun things with the girls, provide them some more opportunities, I hope. We're going to take them to Disneyland a few times this year with a season pass. I hope that is just one neat thing that will be fun for us all. I plan good things. I plan to take some time for myself, to be with myself alone, to ponder, to write, to regroup. I plan for greater joy for my girls and my husband.
I hope to be a better friend this year too. I have been so self-centered of some necessity this year with all that has happened, so I hope that that portion of the past is past, and I can reach out more again. To you who are reading, I look forward to talking and emailing more in the future. Here's hoping we all have time for that.

Well, still a bit peeved, I have to admit...

I have somewhat gotten over the shock of having to sell our house for so low. And in a way, I've managed to be grateful (partially) and excited (a little) about at least the blessing of getting it off our hands. Marce and I went to Lowe's last weekend and spent some of the money we will be receiving on carefully planned updates for the house. A few new ceiling fans/light fixtures that will work better and look nicer, a number of odds and ends, a new screen door for the back kitchen door, and even plants. Marce warned me it was not a good time to plant annuals, but I insisted. I spent a couple of hours working on them early one morning soon after the shopping trip and was very pleased. Previously, we had just some gladiolas in the three nice little spots out front of the house, surrounded by nice rocks/boulders, and they had flowered and soon died. And for a number of weeks, that's what we had: brown, dead gladiolas. Yikes. So I planted the annuals and they looked so much nicer! Now, of course, they've wilted terribly and are not looking too happy. We also bought some bushes for right around the front walls of the house and a pretty tall jasmine for the entryway. The boxwoods, of course, look fine, but the hydrangea is wilting terribly just like the annuals. I hope that at least that stays alive and perks up eventually; I don't know what will happen with the annuals. But better than dead gladiolas, I say! Oh well.
So our trip to Lowe's was kind of my acknowledgement of celebration time. We also picked out new countertop (just a basic Formica) for the kitchen, which we've been planning on doing whenever the house sold. So we picked out something nice and were eager to get that done. Well, the installation guys came over to give an estimate, and a day later Lowe's called. The guy there is very nice and helpful. He tells me the estimate: a bit over THREE THOUSAND DOLLARS! We had been thinking it would be maybe $1600. Ha! Our kitchen is kind of wacky and complicated, with a corner sink. (Drat you, home designer from 20 years ago!! I definitely don't recommend a corner sink -- awkward, only one person can get to it at a time, etc.) So the installation is gonna cost a huge amount. Michael, the guy at Lowe's, says he'll get back in touch with me on Monday about possibly some Corian counter. If we're going to pay that much for Formica, we'd be better off paying the same or a bit more for good countertop. I had to agree.
But after thinking about it, I think we'll just have to can that project for now. It's just not in the budget, as much as I had planned on that being the big expenditure. Just not gonna happen. I'm disappointed because the counter in there now is cracked in two different spots -- foot-long cracks. But we'll just have to make do and cover them up as we've been doing.
Because we've had car issues. We had to do our scheduled 5,000-mile maintenance on the van, and it needed new tires too. Marce particularly wanted to get that done now before we drive all the way to Utah next month. So we did that and the maintenance stuff. Cost a good chunk of cash, but it had to be done. And I even had a 15% off coupon from the dealership, so it saved me some at least! Then this week, I was at work, taking my break, and running to Target and Lowe's during that time. After I came out of a short stint inside Lowe's, couldn't start the van. Jumper cables, mine and someone else's who was kind enough to help, didn't help. Tow truck did. His little self-contained box got me started. Then I had to just take the van straight to the dealership. I lost 2 1/2 hours of work time dealing with all that. Urrgh. I went back that evening for a couple of hours and got more done, even though I had just wanted to relax and kick back that evening. Had to get my pages done. So I had to then add the cost of a new battery to the van's damage done to my bank account.
Then, a mere day and a half later, we took the car in to get service done. It's been in need for a while, with a check-engine light on and just not running quite right. So, hey, let's take care of it now. I knew it wouldn't be cheap, but of course, one of the issues is going to cost us $700 to fix, along with some other less-expensive repairs. For a grand total of over $1,000. Yay. That I found out a mere half-hour before I got the call about the $3,000 countertop estimate.
Pricey week. So I'm feeling less excited about the house sale now, seeing as how I'm having to can the project I really wanted to do and still thought I could do, and having to route cash into the cars instead. URRRRrrrgggh.
I really was hoping to have some fun. The fun has been whittled down significantly, bit by bit, as time has worn on this year, and as stuff has happened just this past couple of weeks. So I'm a bit peeved again. I would say I'm a bit angry at the "universe," as they say. We've had to deal with so much crap (pardon me...) this past year that I had thought somehow it would be balanced out karmically. Somehow. But no.
So in a few weeks, we will be free of a monkey on our back in Alabama, but we will be stuck with a cracked kitchen counter and well-running cars that cost us. I wrote earlier this week on Facebook that I shuddered to think what more would happen. I'm just about full up on crappy stuff and very empty on the neat, happy, exciting stuff. OK, universe, I'm ready. Bring on the good news!!

Cause for celebration... supposedly.

So I've been waiting 11 months to sell our house in Alabama. Not at any point in all these months have we gotten even one offer. Until last week. It was exciting to hear from my agent on Monday that someone had put in an offer at last! My excitement was even shorter-lived than the lifespan of a fly because I found out how low the offer was. The buyer wanted $15K less than our asking price, PLUS $5K closing costs. Eeeeeeeeek! So we countered. Had to accept the closing costs because apparently that's what's going in this real-estate market right now. But not that low of a price. Then the week went by, with no response from the buyer. There was still some other interest, however. A lady wanted to buy it but is still in the process of getting all the mounds of paperwork in order for a VA loan. I was hoping she would get it all together and be able to put in an offer, one that was reasonable. Still, no luck. Then Sunday I got a call from the agent saying we'd gotten a counter from our lowballer. He'd come up $7K, at least. But I knew even before our agent told me the breakdown that that wouldn't be what I was hoping for after all came out in the wash. We're going to end up with very little in our pockets, at least compared to what the price was, and what we spent on it 3 years ago. This guy is getting a heck of a deal.
So honestly, rather than celebrating, Marce and I both are feeling quite glum. I can speak for myself, and in many ways him as well, probably, by saying that my reigning emotion right now is anger. Disappointment is a big one, but mostly I'm angry that I don't have real cause to celebrate right now. And I've endured a really stressful year, just holding on and holding on and managing to do so mainly by holding on to the hope that there would be a good payoff at the end. And now I've reached the end of this hideously dark tunnel to find that the light isn't a big roaring bonfire but a little match struck and already popping out. It's a huge letdown, and I'm angry.
Yep, that's right.
Those of you who still read this blog on occasion, and then that part of you who just know how I appear on the outside most of the time, will probably be a bit shocked by this admission. I'm cheery, optimistic and generally am good (at least outwardly) at finding silver linings. But frankly, I'm mad. I'm hopping mad. I'm angry at Fate for her cruel twist. yeah, there are people out there in way worse situations. And I sympathize. I do. I am sorry for being selfish, but for a few days I'm holding a pity party to at least allow my anger a bit of free rein in hopes it will dissipate after a good run around the corral.
Yes, I'm glad that this huge trial will soon be over. Knock on wood. Glad that this monkey will finally be off my back. I'm a bit relieved. But I so wanted to celebrate. And a small measure of relief does not a good party make.
My main hope now is that the sale will go smoothly these next 4 or 5 weeks and that it can truly be behind us. That somehow despite the lack of festive feelings on my part right now, that eventually the stress that has haunted us for months (and this is all right on the heels of the difficult year that was brought on us by the legal and financial issues of Charlotte's adoption) will go away for a while. That we can have at least a breather, a time to enjoy life and each other and to scale back on work taken on to pay extra bills, etc., to just relax and have some fun. 'Cause we truly deserve it.
And I do hope that will be the end of my griping.
This is the pity partier, signing off.

Happy birthday to you... and you... and you... and you....

Well, we made it through the May birthday juggernaut. It is now cake-free time until August. Charlotte turned 2 April 30, I turned 39 (really!) on May 14, Brianna 13 on May 16, and Cami 7 on May 31. Whew. I made cakes for everyone but myself and had little birthday parties for Charlotte and Cami. On Cami's birthday, it was warm enough weather to have a swim party with the cousins. Sure, it's California, but it still doesn't really get hot enough to swim until at least mid-May.
Right now, oddly, we're enjoying a cool spell. We even had some rainfall last week (I've heard that's rather unusual for this area once it's past April), and a storm the week before that. Mind you, it wasn't a rainstorm. Just a storm. It thundered and lightning struck all over and split the night sky -- you get the idea -- but no rain. Oh, sure, a few drops sprinkled the car, but that's about all. I do believe that's the first time I've experienced a storm without rain. We also got a lot of wind that made our backyard look like Alabama during hurricane season. Pretty weird.
As for the moment, I am thoroughly enjoying the low humidity (at least that will stay the same all summer) and the temperate weather -- 70s and low 80s. Very nice. I would be SO happy if it stayed that way all year round. Or at least all summer. I don't mind cooler temps in the winter. Of course, Marce says if I like those kind of temperatures, I should live in the Bay Area. Maybe eventually we'll make our way back up there. Just not anytime soon. I'm not moving again any time in the near or even more distant future if I have any say in the matter.
I got a red beach-cruiser-style Schwinn for my birthday. It's much like the red Schwinn I had growing up. I have now taken it for a spin twice -- once myself in the late evening last week, and then once yesterday with Brianna. She and I cruised around the downtown area of Visalia and had a delightful time. Nice weather, some pretty old houses to look at. Even ran into some friends. I have to say I really like the outdoors atmosphere around here. A lot more people are just out and about here: walking, riding bicycles, working in their yards. Perhaps one reason is that it's just not as miserably humid here as it is in Alabama. Perhaps some is just the California state of mind -- more outdoorsy, more active. I'm liking it. I like that there are bike lanes a lot of places we go. I do, however, miss the nice bicycle trail that was in Alabama. I did not have a bike all that time and so never used the trail for biking; just went on a walk a couple of times. It was very pretty and stretched for miles across a couple of states. And here I come here and buy a bike and I don't know right offhand about a similar bike trail. I am going to have to do some investigating.
It is now summer; the girls are officially out of school. For the first time in my mothering life, I am welcoming their being out. My 2-year-old has really tested me these past few months, and being home alone with her has been pretty tough. But when the older girls are home, they can help keep her busy and at least keep an eye on what she's into. So yay for no school! Yay for helpers! I have a few somewhat grand plans to try to do some fun things with them, do a little traveling, some day trips mostly; teach them to sew, teach some piano, perhaps; not sure. I'd really like to work on math with Marissa. Well, strike that. I really NEED to work on math with Marissa. I'm not eager to do so. But she needs it. She will be going to summer school during the mornings, and getting some continuing help on academics, but I am sure it would help if I sat down with her every day and worked on math. That's the optimistic side of me speaking. But the practical side knows that it won't happen. It'll just be too hectic.
Big trips will include for me a trip to Idaho for my nephew's wedding and for all of us -- even Marce! -- a trip to Provo for a reunion for my freshman ward at BYU. I'm excited about those. Should be lots of fun. I'd love to take everyone to Idaho as well, but two long car trips only 3 weeks apart are just not in the cards. The girls had to agree on this point.
I have been busy with work -- I am now working daytime at the local paper. I work about two days a week, roughly 10 to 12 hours total, laying out and editing the entertainment tabloid that is published by the paper once a week on Fridays. So I spent Wednesdays and Thursdays working on it and feverishly trying to get all the little stuff done by 3 p.m. on Thursday. I've been doing it for, oh, about 5 or 6 weeks now and I think I've gotten the hang of it finally. I'm in a nice smooth groove. It's fun and gives me a nice opportunity to edit and do some more fun layout than news. Also gets me out of the house a couple of times a week and with makeup and hair done and everything. Yes. Indeed. This week I spent two more days at the office laying out and designing a special "what to do in downtowns" section that comes out quarterly. So my week was quite full with work. I do enjoy the opportunity but the week ended up way out of balance. I did not do much cooking at all. I remedied that today by making bread and having fresh vegetables and fruit with it. Tasty and healthy, by golly.
I'm still reading up a storm and keeping up with my Rated Reads site. I am very pleased with it. I am slowly building up its "database" and working on adding new reviewers. I still get very positive feedback on what a good service it is. Just need some more visitors. I would like for it to be profitable someday, but for now it's a labor of love.
That concludes this update. It's quite lengthy. I do hope to be doing more blogging and writing as time goes by this summer.

All's swine, thank you

So apparently some of you still read this blog. So here we go: a long-overdue update.
First, we've had two cases of swine flu here in our county. One was in an elementary school that my RS president's kids go to. They shut it down the past 3 days. I've been working at the paper (more on that in a minute), and we've been covering it like crazy, just like any other media outlet. I have a similar feeling to perhaps many of you who don't work at a news outlet: enough, already! There's only so much to be done about it. If you're not feeling well, stay home. If you're fine, then keep washing your hands and being careful about sickness and hygiene. And that about covers it.
On to the work. I've been working at the newspaper here, the Visalia Times-Delta, since, oh, February sometime, I think. Or early March? It's all a blur. Well, Mom came in early February, I think, for a very last-minute visit which I urged her to take since she was having ice storms and so on and had no school and no power. I had an interview. Then shortly after, the editor contacted me. I had made clear that I could not work full-time, but I was open to doing projects or part-time stuff. So I wrote one freelance piece for their monthly magazine, and then I was asked to work on the copy desk temporarily, until they got their staffing up to snuff. It was going to be for 3 weeks, so I said, sure, I'll do full-time for that amount of time. And I did. I worked from 4:30 in the afternoon until 11:30 at night, and then got up and did all my usual things at home.
First, the work was fun. Haven't done news in years, although I've technically done editing the past few years as I've worked on the book page in Anniston. So I felt a little fish-out-of-water for a couple of days but got back on the bicycle, so to speak. And I've been pedaling quite fine since and having a good time. I enjoy the work, and getting paid to keep up with the news is always nice. And I've had a lot of fun with the other copy editors. It's always refreshing to get to know new people, particularly in a setting outside of my house.
However, the hours were rough, and I insisted on trying to keep up with everything as usual, like making sure my family had real meals in my absence. I did it, but I was exhausted.
After three weeks, they needed me for longer, so I said, OK, I'll do part-time. I've done 3 days a week ever since. And that's been for, gee, 5 or 6 weeks? Hard to say. I took the week of spring break off so I could be around with the girls when they were out of school. I took Brianna down to Los Angeles to the Getty art museum, which was just lovely in architecture, views and actual art collection. We had a very nice time. I even took an hour or so to drive her by the Los Angeles Temple and down Santa Monica Boulevard through Beverly Hills, and she got to see the Hollywood sign in the hills. Not bad for one day (just drove down and back). The rest of the week was spent hanging out a bit and catching up on everything around here that felt like it had fallen apart while I was working.
Now I've managed to swing a daytime job. I'll just be working about 10 hours a week, laying out and editing their weekly entertainment tabloid. So yay for daytime! I'm procuring daycare for Charlotte two days a week so I can do that. But mostly the kids won't know much of a difference from here on out. Next week is my first week doing that new gig. Yay for me.
Speaking of Charlotte, she turned 2 yesterday. Amazing. She's doing some pottying, depending on if she wants to be serious or goof around with me. But it's cool. Yay Charlotte! She's talking a lot and being as friendly and engaging as ever. And curious. And into everything. I bought some more child locks that would keep her out of more things. We're having a small party for her tomorrow with some family, friends, and cake and sandwiches. So I will post pictures on SmugMug.
I've found a new book club. Been to several meetings now. I'm glad I've got a group to discuss literature with again. We had a meeting last night and talked up a storm about The Alchemist. Great little book. It is the third time I've read it in 15 years, and it always makes me feel jump-started on working toward my dreams.
That brings me to my other projects. I've been steadily increasing the content on Rated Reads. I've got some help from other readers/reviewers and I've got probably 40 or 50 people visiting every day. Not bad, I suppose. But I'd like lots more traffic! But I've got about 140 books on the site now, I think.
I'm still very serious about doing more writing. I've been trying to get my children's book published, but you know, publishing is a very very very very very tough business. I think I'll do better if I can get my middle readers' book or my young-adult book going and shopped around. Now I need to scrabble together some time to do some writing. Because I have nothing else to do.
I've also managed to get some good projects done around here the past few weeks. I've cleaned up, thrown out, organized more and put more junk away in some fashion. There are fewer piles in corners or on countertops. I'm very jazzed about this because I hate clutter. It's been very gratifying seeing some of it go away. It makes the house feel much better. My brain is so busy all the time that if there's clutter around me, in addition to being in my head, I do feel a little bit crazy.
On the church front, for those who are LDS, you will understand when I say I am in the Relief Society presidency in our ward here. I'm the enrichment counselor. I did this for 5 1/2 years in Alabama before we left and had a reprieve of approximately 6 months. Now I'm back in the saddle again. I'm pleased but feel ever more responsible to do something because now I'm having to just get to know everyone here first! I'm making progress, however, with learning names and finding out what everyone is like and what they do. It's responsibility but I'm glad to serve.
I make very regular posts on Facebook, so this blog has suffered. But it's a lot more interesting to write a bunch of stuff on here. Now if I can get caught up with my journal, I'll be really doing well.
We are still trying to sell our house in Alabama. It's been since July we've had it on the market. It's about time it just sells. But even though it's stressful, I do have to appreciate that at least we have a home and jobs.
The girls are doing well. We're well into birthday season for everyone, and all are excited particularly that it's about time to be able to use the swimming pool that's been lapping in the backyard since we moved in. I'm not in too great a hurry for it to get miserably hot. We had that for about five days two weeks ago and it was not pleasant. Today, however, we're actually getting some rain, which is most welcome. I'm fine with summer waiting its sweet time.
That is all for today. I'm off to work.

The update

OK, so now that I've started the year (belatedly) with a fun post, here's the basic news:
Christmas was nice. December is always busy for me, being a mom, but it was particularly so because I was still trying to settle into a new house and a new routine. By the time it was a few days before Christmas, I was finally enjoying the season. And it was truly lovely here: our neighborhood was beautifully decorated, and in the foggy, hazy half-light of evenings, it was particularly gorgeous. Lights sparkled in the fog and dim and radiated softly. One evening I was walking around the neighborhood, and it felt like I was on a Hollywood soundstage: everything was just so perfectly arranged and lit for the holidays, and there was not a single car on the road (the setup of the neighborhood means there is no through traffic at all, and we're on a cul-de-sac to boot). It was just the pretty neighborhood and little ol' me. I could have broken out in a Christmas carol a la an old-style musical, or spoken a reverent soliloquy. That was a beautiful evening for me. Felt like Christmas.
The one huge difference apart from being in a totally new state and neighborhood was that we couldn't spend Christmas at my mom's house. We've done that for 10 years now, and it was a little weird not to be there. But we had our own new Christmas day and spent time together and then with the in-laws and cousins. It was quite nice and laid-back.
The day after Christmas, I took the girls to the Bay Area to visit Marce's aunt and grandma. It was a good opportunity to spread a little more Christmas cheer to some ladies who appreciated the visit.
The girls had a full three weeks off of school, so the week after New Year's, I drove them all up to Utah. We took my niece Dalessi, who's a junior in HS, with us. The drive was long and tiring, but beautiful and scenic. I wasn't at all looking forward to the driving part, seeing as how I had to do it all on my own, but I was eager to show my daughters and niece completely new territory. I've seen it but they never have: all those mountains, the great rocks and desert areas, the formations, the cities. Las Vegas was our halfway point, and they were all duly impressed with its garishness. We were able to take the time to drive down The Strip on the trip back, and it was fun to listen to all the exclamations of wonder. Cami thought it was cooler than New York City, and she did quite enjoy the Big Apple. She has asked me several times recently if we're going to get to go back to NYC anytime soon. Uh, sorry, no.
They were also fairly impressed with the scenery, at certain points. Dalessi was in awe of the mountains in Utah, and she took tons of photos. That was fun. I'd see a particularly nice view and look over and see her pulling out her camera again.
The big thing was the snow. There was quite a lot of it up there. Hey, it was January and Utah. And it snowed the day we drove up there, so there was a nice fresh big pile of it everywhere. When we arrived at my friend's house in Pleasant Grove after midnight Utah time, it took me half an hour to park my van on the uphill slope of the driveway. Here I am, wearing slip-on clogs and no jacket, at midnight in Utah, shovelling some snow and watching my friend in PJs toss salt on the driveway. It was a little crazy. I was tired and a bit punch-drunk. And then Charlotte didn't go to sleep until 2:30 a.m. Fun night!
But the girls got to play in the snow a bit, as best-equipped as I could get them with sneakers and gloves. It was refreshing to see snow on Cami's dark hair after she got hit by a snowball.
I pointed out to them all that as pretty as the snow was, give it a few days -- and then a few months-- and see how ugly the dirt-filled snowdrifts everywhere would be. And sure enough, before we left, they were able to see what I meant; there were piles of snow stained gray by road soot all on the sides of the roads and parking lots. That's the flip side to the sparkling virgin snow layered so beautifully on the mountains and people's lawns. But cool nevertheless!
I toured them around my old haunts at BYU (go Cougars!!) and Temple Square. I was absolutely thrilled to do so. I would have enjoyed having Marce along to help, but since he had to work, I was still OK doing it myself. I was a little worn out and strung out after it all, but I was SO excited to show them everywhere that had meant so much to me. I had so many defining experiences at college and on my mission that being able to share those with my beautiful, sweet daughters was a real treat and one I'd looked forward to for a while.
Now they're back in school and I'm mostly recovered from the trip. The weather is nice here, and they all have bicycles now and can run outside and play and bicycle in the cul-de-sac. It's great to be able to send them outside. It's been in the 50s and 60s, no snow in sight except for the tops of the mountains off in the distance. We've finally had some rain, which is most welcome because come spring and summer, it will be as dry as the Sahara. I'm definitely soaking it up while I have the chance. I am not looking forward to summertime. The girls will probably enjoy it, however, because they'll be able to swim in the pool. Cousins will most likely be spending a lot of time at our house, too, and we'll have a pool full of kids. That's going to be a whole other post, though, in a few months' time. For now, I'm enjoying some fog and rain.

First, the funnies

Since it has been two months since my last blog, and it is now a new year (although almost three weeks in), I thought that posting my little collection of funnies would be a good start. Here goes.
First, I found this witty little piece on YouTube thanks to a publishing-biz email I subscribe to. Those of you who have tried to get published or know someone who has (if you know me, then there you are...) should find this amusing indeed. Heaven knows I did. Nice work, Macmillan!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQ78WHpGZ1o
Next, I found a very funny mis-spelling in an article by the Associated Press that ran in the Fresno Bee, which I now subscribe to. It's about cell-phone soap operas that deliver safe-sex messages to women at risk for HIV, etc. Interesting, sure. But what's hilarious is this quote: "'Women who watched the first pilot (cell-phone video) were getting upset, angry, exacerbated,' said nurse educator Rachel Jones." Notice anything wrong there? I hope you do. I sure did. I think what Jones said (and what the stupid reporter heard and wrote down wrong, and then a number of stupid, rushed editors didn't even notice) was that they were "exasperated." Good one. And what's even funnier is that it just doesn't surprise me that no one along the AP food chain caught this. A good copy editor is getting harder and harder to find.
Next is just a plain funny story run in a brief in the Bee. I found a slightly longer version on the Deseret News site. And here is the link:
http://www.deseretnews.com/article/1,5143,705277512,00.html
And there you have it for the funny news of the day. Good night and good luck and all that jazz.

Thanks be!

It is now the day before Thanksgiving, and I am astonished at how time has flown these past weeks. We moved into our very own house in California on Nov. 1, and since then we have been steadily unpacking, cleaning, painting; hanging curtain rods, towel rods, pictures, etc. and generally staying pretty busy. Our garage is nearly empty of full boxes and we are almost to where we can park a car in there. Just need to get a new remote somehow. We'll have a fence around our pool next week, we have new carpet in the living room, we have a flat-screen TV mounted on the wall in our living room where little fingers cannot reach it, and things are looking good. I cannot express how wonderful it is to walk into my own bedroom, with its own master bath and my very own walk-in closet. I can find my clothes easily and am getting to where I can find bills and other important paperwork and similar stuff pretty easily too. After three-plus months of living out of suitcases and NOT being able to find things very well at all, this is a huge blessing.
We have been warmly welcomed and continue to be warmly supported by the wonderful members of our church family here in the Visalia 2nd Ward of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Their kindness and consideration have been overwhelming.
We still miss our dear friends in Alabama. This is the unfortunate part of moving -- leaving loved ones behind. My one consolation is that we now have the Internet and flat-rate long-distance to stay in touch more easily and inexpensively.
Our girls are adjusting well; Brianna is the oldest and therefore having the hardest time getting settled in to her new school, but I can say from experience that this is simply something that time will solve. In the meantime, it's a bit stinky. She does have a very cool bedroom of her own to enjoy and little things like going to see the new "Twilight" movie with her mom. :)
The weather is finally turning cooler, and I am able to make soups. I love soups. I probably still belong in cooler parts of the country, but as fate would have it, I've ended up in warm locales. As much as I enjoy cooler weather, I admit I do not miss snow.
So in honor of this wonderful holiday, here is a short list of my greatly appreciated blessings (completely abridged and not at all complete, mind you):
1. A husband who is fun, laid-back, nice to be around, helpful, supportive, understanding, cute, sweet, and many more lovely adjectives. We've enjoyed 15 years together.
2. Daughters who are beautiful, fun, delightful, generally obedient, helpful, smart, talented, and very sweet. They amaze me and impress me on a regular basis.
3. Family who are loving and supportive and unfortunately spread out across the continent.
4. Faith in God and knowing he has a plan for me and my life. The gospel that centers around Jesus Christ gives me strength and a foundation for living and has brought all good things in my life.
5. Friends. You know who you are. If you're reading this, bless you! You are
the best. I couldn't have survived this long without you. I have laughed, cried, talked myself hoarse, been comforted, been uplifted because of you. I look forward to all living on the same street in heaven one day.
6. The world around me. It's varied, it's gorgeous. It's amazing and fascinating. I have seen much of it (but not nearly enough yet) and I have been awed by its diversity and beauty.
7. Chocolate. Ice cream. And the corollary: gyms. I actually do enjoy my workouts.
8. Music, art, good films and especially good books.
9. My experiences. The cool places I've been, the things I've done, the memories I carry around with me everywhere.
10. Life. Isn't it amazing?
I have so many things to write but other things to do, but this encapsulates my life recently. It's been down, up, down, down, down, up. But it's there and it's definitely always interesting.

I Tempted Fate and Fate Won, yeahhhh

OK, so I was really stupid to start making arrangements. I was even stupider to write about it. I said I was tempting Fate, didn't I? And I did. We should have closed pretty easily on this house loan on Friday, moved in on Saturday. So Monday afternoon, Tuesday, I get phone calls from the loan guy, saying the underwriters wanted more detailed info. I got up out of my sickbed (where I was hoping to actually SLEEP) and dug through the filing cabinet to find info that might help. Then I logged on to a website. I saved a PDF file and emailed it to the loan guy. Loan guy calls back, saying he got said attachment. They were wondering if I could craft a little letter to go along with that paperwork, explaining more info. Did that. OK, fine. No more nap, baby up. Kids home. No sleep. Picture me, dragging around, lying back in sickbed.
Today, I feel a little better, go to Costco, buy some shelf liner for the cupboards, etc., that I hope to be using in a few days. Yeah, sure. Noon, I email said loan officer. What's the update? Oh, he emails back later, (after a half-hour nap which wasn't nearly enough) the paperwork is all done and good to go, but now the title company is waiting for a really simple piece of paperwork from the bank who's selling the house. You'd think they'd have gotten that ready before now. But no. So we're now waiting on the bank. Ha.
So yeah, I'm starting to fall to pieces. Let's just say I'm glad no one other than some kids and sister-in-law were present to watch my breakdown. I sobbed on the phone to my husband at work, who is now feeling sick too but can't take sick time because, hey, he just started working there 6 weeks ago and hasn't qualified for that quite yet. So he's sounding like Ton Loc. If you know who that is. But a patient or coworker said that's what he sounded like, and yeah, I have to concur, he did sound like Ton Loc. A Filipino one. I blubber for 7 minutes, he listens while treating a patient, and I get off, not feeling any better; in fact, I feel worse for blubbering to him while he's sick AND trying to work. I have no one else to call. Except the satellite company and the TV installation people and the storage facility that's got our stuff in holding, and -- somehow -- all the people who have now committed to help us move on Saturday. I don't even like to think about it.
So, word of advice. Don't tempt Fate. It will always come back and bite you in the you-know-where. And unfortunately, my you-know-where is just bigger than it used to be, thanks to all the stress. My hormones are completely out of whack. I even visited an acupuncturist today, for the first time -- I'm so out of whack that conventional medicine sure as heck isn't doin' it. I've done some alternate work in the past, but today was the first I'd ever had needles stuck in my skin. Not bad. My qi is absolutely sluggish and depleted, and my heartfire or something is hot or ... not sure. But it's all bad. The tip of my tongue is red. My pulse is sluggish. I'm depleted and sluggish. So I got needles stuck in my skin in hopes that one day my qi will be happy and no longer sluggish. Maybe that will lead to less ice cream in and less you-know-what for the Fates to bite.

If we get to move in this weekend, it's going to take the bank sending that piece of paper first thing tomorrow and some moving of mountains by my hardworking real estate agent, Heather. But I could really use a miracle. Everybody, cross your fingers and say your prayers.

Almost there...

So here we are, in California. We've been "living" here for two months, but it's not what I would call fully living. We've really been more in stasis or in suspended animation, so it seems. I've been sitting around waiting for ages. But now it seems that the waiting will end. We will be closing on our house purchase this week and actually moving in this weekend. (Knock on wood -- I don't want to anger the Fates by making such a bold claim...)
I've been getting things scheduled, too. Phone service, satellite, carpet installation, cleaning, etc. So exciting.
I have to note here that I am incredibly pleased, amazed, and heartened by our new ward. Our house is in the Visalia 2nd Ward boundaries, and the members of the Church in 2nd Ward are just about the friendliest, most helpful, warmest people I've seen in one group in a long time. After all we've been through these past months, it makes me feel so good to be welcomed so heartily. When we first attended church in the ward a few weeks ago (before General Conference and Stake Conference), it felt like the people in the ward were jumping over each other practically to say hello to us. And then their youth brought us cookies that week, and now that we're moving, one leader has now told Marce, "Don't worry about making any more phone calls -- we'll take care of it." I cannot express to these people what a difference this makes to me. I am eager to be of service to them once we are settled in and able to do something.
When it all comes down to it, the people in our lives are just the most important 'things' we have. "Stuff" is nice but people are just the best. I cannot say enough what deep feelings of friendship and love and gratitude I have for all the wonderful people who have blessed my life in some way or another. I look forward to one day living in one place where we won't be separated by hours and miles but can easily "stay in touch." Perhaps mansions all in one neighborhood in heaven? So this is my "shout-out" to wonderful friends. If you're reading this, you deserve this kudos. :)
And here's to moving and settling and an end to waiting. For now.

I love to wait... ha ha ha ha

So, betcha thought I'd be done with waiting now, right? Wrong. House is still there, sitting, waiting for us. Closing is still a thing of the future. We're hoping that will be Friday. But that's assuming we can get a few items fixed beforehand, since we're getting an FHA loan. So closing might still be next week.... sigh. We went to Lowe's last week and ordered our beautiful new carpet for the living room and bought paint for all the rooms in the house. It's going to be lovely. We bought a Blu-Ray player and are shopping for the right TV. We've got a good place here in town that's going to mount it on the wall in the living room above the fireplace and get the system all set up for us. The TV and components will all be high above little fingers' reach. We hope. The house is going to be lovely. So exciting. Once we actually OWN it and can get in there and clean and paint and so on. It's going to be a good amount of work, but my fingers are itching to do it. After I'm done with all that painting, etc., my fingers will be curled into a claw for a good month, like they were 2 years ago after all the work we did on our house in Anniston (which is still for sale, by the way, if you know someone there looking for a gorgeous house for a reasonable price...).
Meanwhile, I sit. I wait. I try to keep myself busy, be useful. I bought a beautiful new quilt and shams for Brianna's room, which is going to look awesome. She's lucky enough to be in a room on the first floor with doors that open out onto the patio and backyard. Too bad, Brianna!
We even bought magnetic paint for the girls' rooms. This is a way cool thing. You paint it on the wall, two or three coats as a primer. Then you paint over that with a regular color paint. And the kids can just stick stuff on the wall with magnets, as if it were a giant refrigerator! No nails, no refrigerator overrun with art projects. That's going to be lots of fun.
I have been busy updating my website, Rated Reads. I'm very pleased with how it's coming along. I got good attention from the article run in the Deseret News and online Mormon Times. I've gotten some good contributors, too, so I can get many more reviews on the site now. I just added a blog and RSS feed, too. I'm excited about it. I think it's a great place for people to visit and get ideas of good books to read. I just can't wait to get in my own house and get all my books put up on shelves again! Poor things, they're sitting in boxes.
I also plan to get back to some writing soon. I started a YA book a while back and have been busily thinking on it for a while. Time to get some real writing done.
Here's to waiting...

News at last

OK, so I'm no longer waiting... Well, I'm waiting for different things now. Last Friday we officially found a house. I walked through it on Thursday, put in an offer late that evening (it's bank-owned, naturally) and then got a counter-offer from the bank first thing in the morning, countered back, and then the bank actually -- DRUMROLL, PLEASE -- accepted my offer on Friday afternoon! My real estate agent called that morning with a "are you sitting down?" and then that afternoon with a "I can't believe this!". I had to agree. What with the other two houses that are short-sale/bank-owned not budging at all in all this time, this bank's rapid response and generous acceptance of our counter was astounding -- and nearly miraculous. I felt positively giddy as I pondered the idea of having an actual house to live in sometime in the definitively near future.
The giddiness has eased and increased, alternately, with paperwork to fill out and information to gather, and so on; it has increased as the paperwork has gotten mostly done. Now only a few items remain and I can almost just sit back and wait with happy anticipation to simply move in. That, and shop. Not bad. Gotta find some carpet for the living room and a new HDTV. That will truly be the fun part.
Great news is, we don't have to do much work on it. Eventually, some painting. Some cleaning right away before we move in, of course. The house has a pool, so we'll need a fence right around the pool; there's already a fence around the whole backyard, of course. I would just like to be able to send the girls out to the backyard to play without worrying about the pool situation. So that'll be the next thing.
It's just so thrilling. A house of our own. Five bedrooms, three baths, a pretty neighborhood with lots of trees and established vegetation. A quiet little cul-de-sac tucked away a few streets removed from the main drag. The girls can bike around the neighborhood. Play. I might be able to have some quiet time inside the house while they're out in the California sunshine. Aaahhh. And I think I'll do some relaxing skinny-dipping at night when I am all alone. Just me and quiet, still water. Aaahhh.
My Rated Reads site just got some good publicity this week from an article run about it in the Deseret News' Mormon Times section online. I am thrilled that lots of people have taken a good look through the site and sent emails to thank me for the work I've been doing. I knew when I came up with the idea sometime early last year that it was a really great resource. It just needed some good publicity and word of mouth. Now some readers have emailed saying they got sent a link from their moms or something similar. Now that's what I was looking for. I hope it continues. I am excited about the possibility of having lots of reviews and ratings and plenty of new material all the time for readers who would like clean books to read. So ... life is moving forward. I'm still plenty busy. But I'm not treading water anymore, or pushing a boulder uphill.
Yahooooooo!!!!

Funny Farm, CA

So this area here in the Central Valley of California is agricultural. All surrounding this small city are farms and orchards -- walnuts, raisins, fruits and vegetables of all kinds. Sadly, there are lots of new housing developments fairly recently built and still being built. And apparently some walnut orchards are set to be flattened for even more development of some kind pretty soon.
So it's all about farms. I'm convinced that my new home here is about to be the Funny Farm, however. I've been holding up (I think) remarkably well over the past weeks. I've been cool and calm and resilient under a whole huge monster amount of pressure. But I'm warming up.
A week ago, we put in an offer on a home we really like that's been foreclosed on. It needs work, but we kind of like it that way. And it should be a good deal, especially for all its square footage. It's also very close to schools and church -- two or three blocks! Very cool. Lots of storage space, neat touches. Terrible paint job inside. But we can do that. Also needs a new roof. So we put in a reasonable offer, and the bank took two days to reject it outright. Put in another one. Two more days, another outright rejection. No countering. arrrrrrgggggggh!! I have also now had my children out of school for a week, thinking we'd have a contract put together by this point on the house so we could just enroll them in the right school now without having to enroll them where we're staying temporarily at the moment and then moving them. So much for that. I'm just going to have to enroll them tomorrow and be done with it.
And Marce is supposed to start working on Monday. Now, since he's a medical professional, he's supposed to have a license to practice. He had one here in California 10 years ago -- he got his first license here, in fact. Then we moved to Alabama and he got his license there, and the CA one lapsed. So we had to apply to get one here again. Well, the CA PT board has been most useless, indeed. Slow and slower. It's been a month since we submitted the application, and a week since the application fee check was cashed at our bank in Alabama. So how long will it be until he actually has a license again? I mean, really. He had one here before. He hasn't committed any felonies. Or misdemeanors, for that matter. So here we are, still no license to practice. So as of today, since he has no license, he's going to get to start working on Monday as an "aide," at a third of his pay. Yay. Then as soon as he gets his license he can work regular and get paid right.
I suppose it doesn't much matter. We don't have a house to move into, so it's not like we're going to have a house payment here anytime soon at the rate we're going. Of course, we still have a house in Alabama that's not sold yet (it's been on the market for a month, so.... ), but here we are. Homeless and a ton of slightly beat-up stuff in two big storage units, and living out of a suitcase in a house of 14 people. I'm sure that tomorrow as soon as we enroll the girls in the schools here, then we'll finally get somewhere with the bank and I'll have to transfer them in a week to the schools on the other side of town. At least there's only one unified school district. It would be worse if there were five school districts in town, like there are in Anniston. I suppose I should be grateful for the tiniest of blessings at this point. I have to admit, however, that I'm not feeling incredibly grateful. I'm swerving over to the bitter and nasty end of the scale.
Cross your fingers, pray, etc. whatever will help me to get over this huge, nasty hump. That and a whole tub of ice cream. Good thing I've found a gym here with a trial membership for the week. I've been spending some good hours there working out some of my frustrations.

Fati-gwayed

In a shoutout to my friend Wonder, may I just say I was quite fah-tee-gwayed yesterday. We are now in Visalia. Our vehicles arrived the day after we did, and it was very satisfying to see our cars arrive here to join us. The rest of the stuff arrived the next day. That was very satisfying to see, too, but then it meant a HUGE amount of work in a short time. Marce and I, our sister-in-law (you GO, girl!), two missionaries, and four others (including an 11-year-old boy) participated in unloading the whole almost-28-feet of tractor trailer stuffed full of our material possessions. In 6 hours. Marce and I were pretty steady going that whole time, with the others kind of coming and going. It was unreal, looking at that huge truck full of things, packed to the gills, and knowing that we had to get it all transferred into a storage shed. Very soon after starting, I realized the one storage shed we had reserved (10x20) was NOT going to do it. So I got another one across the little driveway, and we had two places to put our stuff.
The sun beat down on us, and we went through a bunch of bottles of water and a couple of jugs of Gatorade. I didn't eat lunch for fear I'd just want to throw up. Towards the end of the afternoon, though, we both wanted to throw up from the work and heat. But we didn't. We held out. We managed to get it all unloaded, so the trucking company could pick up the truck today and get it out of the way of other people's storage sheds.
So we were majorly fatigued. And dirty and dusty. Showers have never felt better. And we celebrated with a fantastic Mexican dinner at a restaurant I found in downtown Visalia. Picked it out of the phone book. New fave Mexican place. It was wonderful. There were a number of Mexican places back in Anniston, but I never found anything I really liked. This was perfect. Hit the spot! We'll be going back soon.
So I fell into bed shortly after 9 p.m. and slept until 6:30. Then I went back to sleep after a bit until almost 8. Then I slept for almost 3 hours midday. I'm feeling a bit more like myself now. And no more moving for about another month, when we'll get to put all that stuff from the sheds onto moving trucks and take it across town and put them -- at last -- into our new home. o
We found a really cool house here. It's almost 3000 square feet, not counting the basement, and it's got a way cool front door. Medieval. It's got a little door set in the old wood, and metal bars across that. There's a second set of stairs in the back of the house going from the kitchen up to a small bedroom that I'm claiming as my office. Tons of storage space, lots of room to put all that junk we just carted cross-country and hefted in and out of that huge tractor-trailer. I don't want to have to move EVER AGAIN. I said that 2 years ago when we moved into our bigger house in Anniston, and I am saying it now with even greater fervor. We will only move again if we get incredibly rich and a moving company can do it entirely for us. It cost a small fortune to get here as it was, and that was supplemented with the blood, sweat and tears of us and a whole lot of incredibly dedicated friends who are now probably quite glad we're not around to be moved anymore!
So now we wait. We put in an offer on this house today and hope it will yield a contract within just a few days (at least this one's not on short sale -- it's already been foreclosed on) so we can have proof of some kind of residence so the girls can start school. School started today but we're just having to let them be truant for a few days. But then they can start in their permanent schools and not have to switch. The house is just a few blocks from the elementary, middle and high schools, and two blocks away from the church. That is very handy indeed. The girls can walk and won't even have to school-bus it. And with the high price of gas, I certainly won't be driving them!
And we wait for Marce's license to be approved/renewed here in California. He first received his license here 11 years ago. Since we've been in Alabama the past 10 years, he's had a license active there. Now getting it back here is taking some time. Please just pray for us that he'll get it renewed soon so he can start working next week! A paycheck would come in pretty handy, let me tell ya.
And we wait for our house to sell in Alabama. The money from that will also come in VERY handy.
So we wait. And I sleep, apparently. I am so eager to be in our own house again. But in the meantime, we are very much enjoying being with Marce's brother's family. Watching all the girls be with their cousins has been wonderful. It is really making it worth all this hassle. So neat.
And I sign off now to get some more sleep! I think it'll be awhile till I'm really "caught up."

Tragicomedy of errors

So I took an honors Shakespeare course my first semester at BYU. I had to write essays on what comedy and tragedy meant in Shakespearean terms. So I could technically say that our move has been a comedy. It will turn out to have a good ending as Shakespeare would write it. In the middle, however, it's just been a little shaky.
We are now in California, so at least we've made it this far. Our stuff is all on a 28-foot tractor-trailer (hopefully) bound for California. We should be getting it around Wednesday or Thursday in Visalia.
Here's the rundown on move week:
Last Saturday and Sunday I was dead sick. Coughing, wheezing in my upper respiratory area, dead tired, exhausted, etc. I stayed in bed all weekend. No packing.
On Monday of this week, the car shipper picked up both of our vehicles. I managed to raise myself from my sickbed enough to do some packing and organizing, with little breaks. The vehicles then were gone and we were without cars.
Late Monday night, Cami woke up feeling icky and then proceeded to throw up. She continued this throughout late evening Tuesday. I lost another whole day of packing. But I did go into work to do my last book page editing. I caved and rented a car so I'd be able to get there.
Wednesday was really crunch time. The trailer was delivered that afternoon. I tried to do more packing. I also did my last batches of laundry. Wednesday night I started to get panicky.
Thursday was it. Friends came in that morning to help me pack up everything I hadn't gotten to, which was a whole heckuva lot. Sicknesses didn't help, of course. I still was hacking and wheezing, but I had enough energy to drag myself around to pack and give directions.
Marce had his last day of work. He came home around 11 a.m. I sent him to go get the little rental Budget truck we needed solely for its ramp, which turned out not to be a huge help. But the tractor-trailer didn't have a ramp, and it was 4 feet off the ground. Just picture it: huge refrigerator (I love it so I wouldn't possibly leave it behind), washer, dryer. Heavy sleeper sofa.
Shortly after I sent Marce to get the truck, an Alagasco pickup parked on the street in front of my house. It was towing a strange driller truck. I felt a bit panicky. I asked, "So, gas people, whatsa happenin?" Gas leak. Gotta fix it. Yeah, um, not really the ideal time for you to be doing heavy work like this out front of my house. Oh well. Most likely won't be in the way. We'll cross our fingers.
An hour later, it started dumping rain. Stopped in half an hour. I am still inside, wheezing away.
We're packing, men are loading the truck. Are we making progress? Doesn't look like it.
A couple hours later, I am trying to make arrangements for Mac, our cat, to be shipped via Delta's air cargo. I'm on the phone 45 minutes before I get a workable plan figured out.
Two hours later, Mac has escaped the hubbub of the house. He hides under the house in the crawl space.
Two hours after that, Marce tries to get Mac out from under the house. He goes in the crawl space and instructs a horde of about 8 kids to position themselves out in the back yard, ready to grab Mac. Marce gets Mac out in the yard; none of the 8 kids catch him. Mac runs into other people's back yards. Marce, steam pretty much visibly coming out his ears, steps into the house, covered in mud. His old clothes go in the trash bag, and we wonder if we'll have to write off Mac. At 10 p.m. Mac shows back up at the back door, meowing. I quietly try to get him inside. He runs away, never to be seen again before we leave town. Today, I canceled his reservation to be shipped. We're sad, Mac is free, and we save about $350 in shipping and associated costs.
Around 7 p.m. Marce surveys the house. I've been surveying it myself. It doesn't look very empty. We've been working our friends like dogs, and there seems to be no end in sight. Marce starts to panic. I feel for him on the one hand but on the other say, "So now you get why I've been so stressed for a month?" I try to stay strong in his panicky moment. How are we gonna do this? We just HAVE TO, that's how.
We're still in the house just past 10 p.m. We have a bunch of odds and ends still scattered, but the big stuff is all on the tractor-trailer. I've reserved 19 feet of the 28-foot trailer, and it's looking like we might use the whole darn thing. $163 extra per linear foot. Yikes!
We go to our hotel nearby and enjoy amazing showers. We could theoretically get 7 or 8 hours of sleep, but Marce and I probably get about 4 hours all told. Too much still weighs on our minds. We chow down on breakfast and get back to work.
We deliver our old entertainment center (yeah, we're not even taking that or the TV or a sofa) to a friend's house. We return the truck, which was $50 but almost useless. We race back to the house. We are helped tremendously by several loyal friends who see the look of despair and madness on our faces. We box up all the rest of the junk in the house and then leave behind a whole lot of stuff in the barn and a few odds and ends in the house for our friends to pick through and claim as their own.
We race to the hotel. First, I run to the school to get some forms for Marissa for her new school in California. We shower again. I rearrange the suitcases a bit. I try to make sure the huge suitcase is almost entirely clothes so it doesn't go over the 50 pound weight limit. We run by Marce's work for a check. We run in the bank to do three transactions. We hustle to the car rental place to return the car. We scoot out of town and cross our fingers, since it's 12:15 p.m. and our flight leaves at 2:10 p.m. and it's a one-hour drive to the airport. Our good comrade from the ward and neighbor down the street drives us all and our luggage and carry-ons. We make it to the airport at 1:20. We check in (the big bag weighs 59 pounds. Arrgh. $25 extra charge. And no, I don't think I can rearrange it to get 9 pounds out. I'll be happy to fork over 25 bucks.) We go through security. I pay $23 for three sandwiches and a banana to hold us over until we reach Chicago. We have a good flight. In Chicago, we have less than an hour before our next flight leaves, and we all swallow McDonald's burgers and fries in record time. We board our plane and sigh a huge sigh of relief that we are actually about done with this segment of our move.
And here we are at Marce's dad's house. It's Saturday, and we sleep some long naps indeed. I wash the sweat out of our clothes. I shower and even put on makeup and we all enjoy a nice dinner out with Marce's dad's family. Things are looking OK. But now comes the big second part of the move. Stay tuned for Act II. Let's cross our fingers on this one.

Moving

So it's official: we are truly out of limbo and really moving. The date is less than three weeks away. I've been packing like crazy, sorting, organizing, throwing, recycling, giving away, selling, and making phone calls. I've been choreographing car shipping, truck rental, plane tickets, home selling, home buying, Marce's job details and professional licensure, and all the other moves associated with moving. I'm starting to feel a bit like the girl with the red shoes (I think that's it), in which the poor girl of the fairy tale puts on shoes that dance with her in them and never stop. She gets danced to death because she can't take them off. I'm pretty sure I'll be able to take these "shoes" off in about 6 weeks, but I'm not sure I'll not be danced to death by then. Cross your fingers for me.
Sleep has become a commodity much sought-after but continually elusive. I'm like those commercials for sleep aids, before some butterfly flitters by a peacefully slumbering actor. I've been thinking the silver lining of this cloud is that at least I'll already be acclimated to the Pacific time zone, two hours earlier. Midnight here is a respectable 10 p.m. there. Voila! Of course, the other side is that I've been waking up at 5 or 6, so will I be waking at 3 or 4 there? I hope that I'll at least just be waking with the early light.
In the meantime, I'm still doing laundry, cooking (well, a little less), cleaning, doing dishes, prying fighting children apart, etc.
Either way, Visalia, here we come! We will definitely be in town by Aug. 11, the day before school registration. It would be nice to be in our own home, but we may very well be staying with family still. Should be quite a fun crowd!

Reunited and it feels so ... odd

So last month was my high school 20-year reunion. Yikes! I can't believe it was 20 years ago I finished high school and was finally able to go West to college, what I'd dreamed about for years.
I didn't get to go to the 10th reunion because I was about to give birth to Marissa. Traveling in a car for about 6 hours didn't seem like a good idea at the time. I figured this time I was bound to go. Since we have been planning on moving, it was also a good time to attend, since I wouldn't be back for a while.
So I went. I wasn't happy about my larger figure (thanks, stress!) but I got gussied up in a pretty pink dress and put on makeup and actually spent 20 minutes with my hair. Rare I get to do THAT, I'll tell ya.
Aside from the weight, I was apprehensive. I wasn't particularly close to a lot of people in my high school, mainly because I was only there for 2 years. But I thought I would be happy to see several, so I went. It wasn't too bad. I was shocked at how OLD so many people looked! Some looked just the same, and several told me I looked exactly the same (I guess they were overlooking the weight gain). So it was all a fairly good boost for me as I realized that not everyone has stayed the same as 20 years ago, so I'm entitled to a little change. (That has kind of faded with the passage of a few weeks and the visuals I've gotten of myself in photos there. Aack! The mirror is much kinder.)
I stayed a few hours, showed off my "arm candy" (my handsome husband), and exchanged hugs and conversations. It was interesting how some of the less mature students I knew then have grown up and become pretty responsible, likable people! Very reassuring. Of course, there were a couple who were obnoxious then who have become ten times more obnoxious. Goes both ways, I guess.
All in all, I came out of it fairly unscathed. I just hope that if I go to the 50th, I'll have lost these 35 extra pounds...

Crazed

I think that with the very good possibility of a pending move and all the usual things going on, plus its being summertime, my brain just might explode. Even Marce is having a bit harder of a time getting to sleep at night, what with new interesting things popping up here and there. The night before last, I had a different real-estate search engine open and had made it a certain way through, and he kept on looking past where I had. So he comes to me at 10:45 at night (I was actually in bed, for once not staying up late reading -- the only quiet time I had alone) and says, "You've got to see this house." And he was right. We both LOVE it. It's "affordable" and is full of styles that we love. It reminds me a bit of the house we rented for a year in California before we moved here. So of course, we stayed up looking at all the pictures (of which there were 21, which was very nice) and me running numbers and hopping up and down a bit (literally) for him to allow me to take the keyboard and look up info on the agent so I could email her. Then we tossed around in bed for a while before we finally fell off to sleep.
So today, I decided it was really best for my health and sanity to take some time, first thing after I dropped off Charlotte at her "day care/camp/preschool" (whatever you'd like to call it), to take a nap. I dropped into bed around 10:15 and got up around 1 p.m. I am feeling a little more normal right now after having had some sleep. I still have lots of things to do (like pack, throw things away, give things away, ad nauseam) but I must have some energy to do them with.
The next thing coming up is my 20th high school reunion. That's this weekend. We're going to see Mom and I'll be trying to look my nicest for people I mostly haven't seen in 20 years. I'm kind of not looking forward to it. I know that there are people I'll be interested to visit with again, but I'm just kind of dreading it mostly because I'm kind of on the heavy side right now (thanks, stress...) and it's that typical "I hate people to see me like this" thing. It sounds terrible, but it's true. Just five years ago (or even three) I was looking trim and normal. Now... Arrrgh.
So I'm hoping that the weekend is fun, and from there, it will be a whirlwind of activity through the end of August. I almost wouldn't be surprised if I don't have another post on here until September. At least I'm somewhat up to date on here; my journal is another story (it was up to date... in March).